Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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