wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
