Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
