ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
