no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel great
I just peed on a car
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
