Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
