i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize