Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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