I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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