we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
