I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
