Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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