someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
