the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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