Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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