you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my shit smells like andre
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
