it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
