There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
