I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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