Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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