I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
