I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
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