My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
