Well douche your snatch and let's go!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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