Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
