Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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