Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
