Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
