margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
