no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize