Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
