I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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