I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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