Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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