so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
