yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
