the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
