Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
