I hate your face
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
