It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize