Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
