I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
