i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
