I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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