Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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