He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
