You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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