the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
