even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
