Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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