There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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