My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
