just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
