I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
