Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Randomize