i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
