Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
