What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
