So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
