Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
